The Responsibilities In The Home 5-10-26 AM

I.            Children must obey and honor their parents.

a.     Eph. 6:1-3.

b.     There is a command to obey their parents.

          i.      Obedience means more that hearing instructions and teaching.

          ii.      It means listening with the intent to follow.

          iii.      Children are not born naturally obedient.

          iv.      Children have to be taught, trained, corrected, and shaped.

          v.      However, Paul, by inspiration, speaks directly to children.

          vi.      This means that children have a responsibility before God.

c.      Numerous scriptures speak to the responsibility of children in the home (Col. 3:20; Pr. 1:8-9; Pr. 6:20).

d.      Notice Luke 2:51 – even Jesus, who knew who He was at a young age, lived in submission to Joseph and Mary.

e.      If the Lord Himself honored the order of the home, children today should not treat obedience as a trivial thing.

f.       There is a caveat in this verse: “in the Lord.”

          i.      This does mean obedience to parents is part of a child’s relationship to God.

1.      Children obey their parents not merely because the parents are bigger, older, or paying the bills.

2.      They obey because God says it is right.

          ii.      But “in the Lord” is also a boundary.

1.      A child is not required to obey a command that would cause them to sin against God.

2.      Ac. 5:29; Matt. 10:37.

3.      If a parent tells a child to lie, steal, hide sin, or in some way disobey God, the child is to obey God first.

4.      Even in that type situation, the child should respond with humility and respect, not rebellion or hatred.

g.      Paul also says that children are to honor their parents.

           i.      You might ask what the difference between obedience and honor is.

1.      Obedience is connected to childhood, while living under the authority of the parents.

2.      Honor is lifelong.

           ii.      The idea of the word honor is to treat as weighty, valuable, worthy of respect.

1.      A child will grow up, leave home, marry, and begin a new home.

2.      However, the child will never outgrow the command to honor father and mother.

h.      There are several passages that speak to this as well.

           i.      This is a quotation of Ex. 20:12.

           ii.      Lev. 19:3.

           iii.      Pr. 23:22.

           iv.      Mark 7:9, 13.

           v.      1 Tim. 5:4 deals with taking care of a widowed mother, and the same would hold true of a father.

i.        Honor includes attitude, speech, gratitude, care, and respect.

j.        There are several biblical example of obedience:

           i.      We noticed the example of Jesus in Luke 2 already.

           ii.      God used the Rechabites as an example of honoring a father (Jer. 35).

k.      There are also examples of disobedience.

           i.      Absalom (2 Sam. 15-18) – his rebellion brought division, grief, and death – his dishonor hurt an entire nation.

           ii.      The sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas – they dishonored their father and God all at the same time and it brought judgment on themselves and sorrow to their families.

l.        When children obey quickly, speak respectfully, and receive correction humbly, that child is learning more than manners – that child is learning submission to God-given authority.

m.    When a teenager refuses correction, mocks his/her parents, lies about his/her activities, that is not just a family issue – it is a spiritual issue.

n.      A child who learns to obey godly parents is being trained to obey God.

II.            Mothers must strengthen the home.

a.      Ephesians 6:1-4 must be considered in light of what is found at the end of chapter 5.

b.      Eph. 5:22-24 speaks to the role of the wife/mother in the home.

c.       A mother’s submission is not inferiority.

           i.      The Bible does not teach that a wife is less valuable than a husband.

           ii.      Both male and female are made in the image of God (Gen. 1:27; Gal. 3:28; 1 Pe. 3:7 – fellow heir with the husband).

d.      Submission is not about worth – it is about order.

e.      God has ordered the home so that the home does not become a place of confusion and competition.

f.        A godly wife submits to her husband “as unto the Lord,” meaning her submission is ultimately part of her obedience to Christ.

g.      A mother helps create the spiritual atmosphere of the home.

            i.      Titus 2 gives older women the responsibility to teach younger women how to live in the home.

            ii.      Titus 2:3-5.

            iii.      We know Proverbs 31 contains the description of the worthy woman who strengthens her family through diligence, wisdom, work, generosity, and fear of God.

            iv.      1 Tim. 5:14.

h.      We need to make sure we understand that the phrase “keepers at home” does not mean a woman has no ability, intelligence, or value out of the home.

            i.      The worthy woman of Proverbs 31 shows that not to be the case.

            ii.      It does mean that the home is not to be neglected.

i.        A mother’s influence in the home is powerful.

j.        She helps shape the tone, habits, priorities, and spiritual well-being of her family.

k.      There are some examples of godly mothers in scripture:

            i.      Hannah prayed for a son and then gave that son back to God – her motherhood was shaped by prayer, sacrifice, and dedication to God.

            ii.      Lois and Eunice led Timothy to have a great faith in God – Timothy knew the Old Testament (2 Tim. 3:15) and that did not happen by accident.

l.        There are also some examples of ungodly mothers in scripture:

           i.      Rebekah manipulated her children and her husband to get the outcome she wanted when she should have trusted God – this resulted in family division, separation, and grief.

           ii.      Jezebel used her influence to promote idolatry and wickedness in Israel.

m.    A mother’s influence can build faith or it can feed rebellion – it can calm the home or rile it up – it can point children to God or it can teach them to manipulate.

n.      A godly mother strengthens the home when she speaks respectfully of and to her husband in front of the children.

o.      A godly mother strengthens the home when she teacher her children to pray, helps them get ready for Bible class and worship, corrects sinful acts and attitudes, and models kindness.

p.      A godly mother strengthens the home when she refuses to let the home become spiritually empty, even when life gets busy.

q.      A mother does not have to be loud to be powerful.

r.       Her faithfulness can echo for generations.

s.       Mothers glorify God by nurturing faith and honoring His order.

III.            Fathers must lead the home.

a.      Paul, by inspiration, gives fathers a direct command.

           i.      We fathers are not allowed to be spiritually absent.

           ii.      We cannot hand off the spiritual leadership of the home entirely to the mother; rely on the preacher, elders or Bible class teachers.

b.      God calls fathers to lead.

c.       The father is the head of the house.

           i.      This is not made up by some guy somewhere.

           ii.      The headship of the father is grounded in God’s order for the home.

           iii.      Numerous scriptures teach this:

1.      Eph. 5:23.

2.      1 Cor. 11:3.

3.      Gen. 18:19 implies it.

4.      Joshua 24:15 illustrates it.

           iv.      Being the head of the house does not mean selfish control.

           v.      Biblical headship looks like Christ.

           vi.      Jesus leads by truth, sacrifice, love, and holiness.

d.      The father is to love his wife as himself.

           i.      Before Paul speaks to fathers in Ephesians 6, he speaks to husbands in Ephesians 5.

           ii.      Eph. 5:25, 28.

           iii.      Notice Col. 3:19.

           iv.      1 Pe. 3:7 – husbands are live with their wives in understanding and show her honor.

           v.      A father teaches his children about God not only by what he says in Bible study but in how he treats their mother.

           vi.      When a son sees his father speak lovingly, repent quickly, serve sacrificially, and honor his wife, that son is learning what being a man is.

           vii.      When a daughter sees her father treat his wife this way, she is learning what godly love looks like and what she should be seeking in a future husband.

e.      The father must not provoke his children to wrath.

           i.      This happens when we are harsh, inconsistent, absent, hypocritical, unable to be pleased, or unwilling to apologize.

           ii.      Children can become discouraged if we treat them this way (Col. 3:21).

           iii.      Pr. 15:1; Jam. 1:19-20.

           iv.      Discipline is necessary, and children really want it, but sinful anger is not.

           v.      Authority is necessary, and children want order, but cruelty is not.

           vi.      Correction is necessary, but humiliation is not.

           vii.      A father has to be firm enough to correct error and gentle enough to keep the child’s heart.

f.        The father must bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

           i.      Bring them up carries the idea of nourishing, training, and raising carefully.

           ii.      Dads are not just here to punish wrong behavior.

           iii.      We are to cultivate godly hearts.

           iv.      Discipline involves correction and training.

           v.      Instruction involves teaching, warning, and forming the mind.

           vi.      It has to be of the Lord.

           vii.      The goal of a father must not simply be good grades, a good job, good athletic success, or social confidence.

           viii.      There is nothing wrong with those things but they should never be the priority.

           ix.      The highest goal is faithfulness to God.

           x.      There are numerous passages that emphasize this:

1.      De. 6:6-7.

2.      Pr. 22:6.

3.      Ps. 78:5-7 – we teach the next generation to set their hearts on God.

4.      2 Tim. 3:15 shows the priority of scripture.

5.      Heb. 12:7-11 – God disciplines His children so they can share in His holiness.

g.      There are some examples of godly fathers in scripture.

           i.      Abraham – we mentioned Gen. 18:19 earlier.

           ii.      Joshua made a public decision because he cared about his family’s spiritual state even more than their physical state.

h.     There are some examples of ungodly fathers in scripture.

          i.      Eli did not restrain his sons from causing the people to sin (1 Sam. 3:13).

          ii.      David was not always a good father.

1.      He did not punish Amnon for what he did to Tamar.

2.     He never got on to Adonijah, which caused Adonijah to become proud and rebellious (1 Ki. 1:6).

i.       A father truly leads when he makes worship a priority instead of an occasional option.

j.       A father leads when he opens his Bible at home, prays with and for his family, apologizes when he is wrong, and shows his children how to repent.

k.     A father leads when he disciplines consistently instead of exploding emotionally.

l.       A father leads when he lets his children know that God is going to be followed in his house.

m.    The home, if it will be as God wants it, needs present, loving, spiritual fathers, not passive ones.

n.      Fathers glorify God by leading their homes toward the Lord.