What Is My Role? 5-18-25 AM

I.       Practice Christianity.

a.      The most important role that we can fill is that of a role model.

b.      As parents of older children, we have to set the example of a Christian.

c.       They have been watching us for years and continue to watch us.

d.      The things that are important to us as adults will be important to them.

                                                              i.      If sports are important to us, more than likely they will be important to them.

                                                            ii.      If work is important to us, more than likely it will be important to them.

                                                          iii.      If the Lord is important to us, more than likely He will be important to them.

e.      I came across a great question: Are you the adult you want your children to grow up to be?

f.        When our children get into the young adult stage, it is too late for that question isn’t it?

g.      However, it can still be used as a model.

h.      Paul told Timothy to be an example of the believers (1 Tim. 4:12).

i.        This is what parents are to be for their older children.

j.        In essence, this is a role that never changes.

                                                              i.      We are to be role models to our children at all ages.

                                                            ii.      We are to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).

                                                          iii.      We are to model Christ for them at all times.

k.      This role never changes for us from the time we bring our firstborn into the world until the moment we take our last breath.

II.      Promote communication.

a.      We have to maintain open lines of communication with our older children.

b.      By this I mean we cannot force our thoughts or opinions on them when situations arise.

                                                              i.      We might handle something differently than they are thinking about.

                                                            ii.      We can’t force our opinions on them by saying, You should do it this way.

c.       This is difficult because we normally think the way we handle situations is the best way.

                                                              i.      If they are not doing it how we would, we want to intervene.

                                                            ii.      This is only going to cause hard feelings or shut down the lines of communication.

d.      There are several ways we can promote good, open communication:

                                                              i.      Don’t jump to conclusions (Jam. 1:19).

                                                            ii.      Be available to our children.

                                                          iii.      Be honest about our own problems – we aren’t perfect and we’ve had to learn from our own mistakes.

                                                          iv.      Don’t get upset or angry with them during a conversation (Pr. 15:1).

                                                            v.      Realize that sometimes they need to vent and don’t want us to fix it for them.

                                                          vi.      Pray for them and let them know you are praying for them (Jam. 5:16).

III.     Patiently confront.

a.      Our children are going to sin and make mistakes and how we deal with them at those times will have a big effect on how that relationship will continue.

b.      Our Father is full of forgiveness and grace.

                                                              i.      Our Lord taught us to ask for forgiveness in prayer (Matt. 6:12).

                                                            ii.      Romans 5:20 – the abundance of grace.

                                                          iii.      Ephesians 1:7 – we have forgiveness because of the riches of His grace.

c.       I point those verses to ask this: If our Father in heaven shows us so much grace and forgiveness, should we not show that same level of grace and forgiveness to our children?

d.      God confronts us in our sins and mistakes, so I am not saying we ignore our children’s mistakes or sin.

e.      I am saying we should not jump on them feet first when those mistakes are made or sins are committed.

f.        Our older children are going to mess up, just like we did when we got into the same stage of life.

g.      How we react when they do will go a long way towards us having a good or bad relationship with them as we both age.

IV.     Prioritize consent.

a.      What this simply means is: we have to respect boundaries.

b.      Their house is their house not ours.

c.       If they are married, we have to understand the biblical teaching of Gen. 2:23-24.

d.      What are some practical ways we can do this?

                                                              i.      Listen without interrupting or correcting them – let them know we value their thoughts.

                                                            ii.      Realize they are able to handle their own problems – ask before giving advice.

                                                          iii.      Avoid emotional manipulation – don’t say things like “After all I’ve done for you…”

                                                          iv.      Talk to them like you would talk to any other adult.

                                                            v.      Don’t get mad if they say no to something.

vi. Be willing to apologize if we are wrong on something.

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Encouraging News 5-11-25 PM